Sounds like a plan! Although, with my father already being dead, i'm guessing that should be singular. That's fine. I don't like my mother anyway!

So, now I've got your attention, do you, the reader, know of any good lawyers. It's my mother you see. She's killed 5 people, and is currently directly responsible for at least 14 others as a result of her actions. Impressive huh? And you all gasped at the horror of me not liking the woman earlier!

See, it's like this. I have, from my mother, gained 3 brothers and a sister. Were that my father was still alive, this would increase by one. But he isn't. So it won't. All of which, were planned children. All of whom, because of her actions, are now guaranteed to die.

My mother was in her mid twenties when she started popping out my siblings. I on the other hand, was born on her 39th birthday. As i recall, I didn't have much say in the matter. This, as far as I'm aware, is a trend she followed not just with me, but with the others too. We were expunged! Extruded! Forced into the world without so much as a by your leave.

By that age, (mid twenties), I think it's safe to say that she was aware that, she was mortal. Being a God fearing woman she knew well the consequences of living on this earth. Original sin, and eternal damnation awaiting those of us who do not follow umm.. *insert deity here*.

And yet, cognitively, she chose to create, not one, but FIVE new entities to bring into the world, knowing that ultimately these beings will suffer, degenerate, wither, and die. All because of her actions. She knew that by her actions, she condemned 5 beings to their separate deaths, deaths which could have been avoided.

In fact... she knew all this, before even beginning on the task of creation of these entities.

If that's not preconceived... I don't know what is!!

And so now I sit here. Trapped in an existence I didn't ask for. Enchained in a mortality which tortures my imaginary soul. Clothed in a body which even yesterday sought to remind me of it's fragility, via the medium of a cheese slicer and my own thumb.

Someone needs to be held responsible. That person, has to be my mother. For the deaths of my brothers, my sister, my nephews and nieces, and ultimately, myself as well, there has to be recompense! She has killed before, and considering the way my family breeds, she will, indirectly, doubtless kill again.

Get me my lawyer, and let justice take its course!

... possibly the wrong word. lol Incandescent might come closer at times. We bought a microwave a few days ago, which I must admit was my idea. I've missed the facility to "nuke" things, be it Stag Chilli, Xmas pudding (of which I have just indeed partaken of...), or baked spuds. The micro was on offer.. wasn't all singing all dancing, just a simple thing that'll save ass loads of time on stuff. We get to the counter to but the thing and the woman swipes Esther's card, and then asks her her name, and then her address, to which I ask... why does she need your name n address?? She's buying a microwave ffs!! Turns out that they don't require it at all, but E had already given both out happily with no questions asked. And people wonder why they get credit card scams. But wait, there's more. A nice subtle little surcharge was added to the price. Nearly 10% of the value of the microwave was added on! Why?? A recycling tax??!! Apparently it's to pay for disposal of old items which this one was replacing, or perhaps for the disposal of this one after it's done. I forget which but i think it was the first! I was fuming! If the price on the item say X pounds... or rather Euros... then that's what you should pay. I wouldn't have bought it had it have been just me, simply because the cost of the item is not that which it is advertised at! I have something of a theory about it. I suspect that, holland has fallen into the trap, not of blaming fruit, but of becoming a lovely little place where everyone pays by credit card, and basically they pick up their item, swipe their card, and it's done. The extra chunk, 9 times out of ten, wont even be noticed. Nice quick way to make a profit me thinks. Not a happy bunny.

And then there's today. Revelling in the glory that is the microwave, I went out on a mission for spuds. Potatoes. Aardappels. Oh yes... tuna and baked spuds was looking hopeful for tea, and xmas pudding maybe afterwards. but.. No chance. I went to a green grocers and a main supermarket, neither of which wanted to see loose potatoes. Buy them in 5 and 10 pound bags I could, but not able to pick ones out for myself was I. I felt myself leaning to the dark side, and so, returned home to molest the pudding earlier than expected. Of course, i had to eat first, how can you have any pudding if you don't eat your dinner.. so I made cheese butties. And succumbed to the evil that is the cheese slicer, nicely lopping off the edge of my left thumb! I'm hoping that there is no cheese detritus wedged in the wound!

However, all is not bad. I have to say we've also picked up a printer, which makes lovely photo prints. Very impressive. And, we went out and joined the gym properly, so soon am hoping to be back to how I used to look! Give or take an inch or two on the waist! Also.. I've installed G.I.M.P, which is a seriously good piece of free art package type thingy! And.. we went out Monday... had a good day all ways round, lovely duck meal, few drinks, and generally had a good day. I'd been ill for the week before, so it was good to be up, about, and healthy.

So.. now all i have to do is suss out this thing again. Yet more changes to the format have occurred, and the wifey is home so my tea making skills are required, so.. if this doesn't come out right.. it's not my fault